


And the Universe Said “I Love You”.

by Liquirkx



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Lives, Past Violence, Suicidal Thoughts, Trauma, but - Freeform, fairlon calls shaxx his universe usually so, fairlon is actually an npc oc i have, i just don’t know how to say that in character tags, idk what else to tag this as, shaxx makes fairlon talk abt trauma but he helps him through it so it’s okay, thats why the title is ~that~, will be sending this to the gf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 09:41:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25967554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liquirkx/pseuds/Liquirkx
Summary: Fairlons possesses nearly entirely by darkness. It bothers him more than he’d like to admit.
Relationships: Guardian/Shaxx (Destiny), Male Guardian/Shaxx (Destiny)
Kudos: 14





	And the Universe Said “I Love You”.

“Mmmm…. Shaxx?” Said the warlock. He was slowly waking up, rubbing his eyes as he turned over and patted the bed beside him, quickly growing panicked when he didn’t feel his lover next to him. “Shaxx?” He called out again, sitting up slowly and moving to turn on the light. The small chain was pulled and he groaned softly. The room was usually dark- as Fairlon preferred- but he’d also like to find wherever it was that his lover had vanished off to. “Shaxx?” He repeated, this time a bit louder. A soft groan left him as he moved to stand up, wrapping the blanket he had over his shoulders. Being part of the whole ‘darkness’ thing was nice until you were constantly freezing cold.

“Mmnnn…” He groaned, rubbing his eyes once more and stretching out his arms with a soft yawn. Slowly, he moved to walk to the door of their shared bedroom, gently nudging it open and being hit with a wave of a sweet smell as well as brightness. So, he was home. He’d almost guessed that Shaxx had headed out for the day already. It was relieving that he’d only left to make breakfast. 

Slowly, the small warlock padded into the living room, tilting his head when he noticed the tall man at the stove, humming quietly to himself. A smile crossed Fairlons face as he stared. It was a lovely thing- to be this domestic with one of the strongest men in the universe. To be able to wake up to breakfast being made, to be able to just relax without worrying about much of anything else for a bit. He wondered how long that would last before the darkness fully enveloped him, how long it would take for something to try to destroy the last city again.

He must’ve voiced his thoughts aloud with how quickly Shaxx looked over his shoulder to him. A gentle grin was given to him before the titan walked over to him.

“Good morning. Sorry if I woke you,” Shaxx said softly, pulling the smaller man into a hug and peppering his face with kisses. “Mmh— you didn’t, jus’ got cold…” Fairlon responded softly, shaking his head and scrunching his face ever so slightly at the kisses. He loved the affection, truly, but it never failed to catch him off guard. The man who used to be a warlord, someone who could conquer anything, giving him the softest love and affection he could’ve asked for. It was such a lovely contrast. 

“I just wanted to surprise you with a nice breakfast. I guess that’s ruined now, hm?” Shaxx asked playfully, his voice gentle. Fairlon responded with a soft huff, rolling his eyes and patting the larger mans shoulder. “Does it matter? Food is food, surprise or not.” He shrugged. “Speaking of, don’t you think you should be at the stove instead of standing here?” The warlock teased, smiling when Shaxx hummed softly in agreement before rushing back to the burners. French toast and crepes, Fairlon guessed. It smelled sweeter than what Shaxx usually cooked.

The warlock watched for a moment before moving to settle down onto the couch, shutting his eyes as he relaxed back and humming his contentment. Normally, he would wear his sunglasses even inside, he hated the way the darkness blacked out the whites of his eyes, but Shaxx made it known that regardless of what all was going on with him that he loved him. It didn’t much change the occasional discomfort, though. It never did. He knew the scars from his infection were there and he couldn’t do anything about it. He was always hyper aware of every scar that marked the darkness on his body. There had been more than one occasion where Shaxx caught him staring at them in the mirror. Those times were always followed by tons of reassurance and plenty of kisses to prove the point that there was nothing that could change the titans feelings and attachments to him. Even with the love to every single scar on his body, anxiety destroyed him. It ate at his insides whenever he had to look at them.

He tried to tell himself that it didn’t matter. He was strong. He made it out of his infection alive, given some different abilities with it as well. Being able to use ice was nice at first, but the more it was pointed out, the more he began to hate it.

But Shaxx loves him. Shaxx always loves him. Shaxx sees everything amazing in him and every flaw and still adores him. 

His thoughts were interrupted as a couple of small clinks were heard and he was moved by the man. “You okay there, warlock?” The titan asks softly. His voice was so much softer when he wasn’t working. “... I’m fine, love.” Fairlon replied after a moment, nodding slowly. It was almost a curse how Shaxx knew exactly when he was lying. “You’re thinking about it again, aren’t you?” Shaxx asked softly, no response given. A sigh left him as he pulled the warlock into his chest, shaking his head. “Your scars. They aren’t your fault. What happened inside those pyramids isn’t your fault.” He reassured softly, kissing the top of Fairlons head. “Eat breakfast. Afterwards, I want to hear everything that’s on your mind. I know it’s a lot.” Shaxx hummed out. The softness of his voice was so sweet.

The warlock nodded slowly, shifting away from the larger man and moving to pick up the plate of food on the counter, tilting his head. He was right, crepes and french toast. Chocolate, too.

He’d eaten with a small bit more hesitation than he normally did, smaller bites and chewing slower. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to avoid talking to his lover, it was that he didn’t know how to word it, he didn’t know how to say anything about it- his own thoughts scared him. So much happened inside his head and he wished he could ignore it to make it all go away.

At least Shaxx had eaten, he supposed. Usually when he got like this, Shaxx would just watch him, make sure he ate it all, make sure he didn’t try to find some sort of way to get away from eating. It gave him a subtle reassurance that Shaxx trusted him today when it came to how his head affected him.

True to his word, as soon as the dishes were put into the sink, Shaxx pulled him back to bed and held the warlock tightly in his arms. Fairlon loved being in his arms, it felt so much more secure. So much safer, so much better than what he received when he was trapped, but that’s a given.

“Talk to me. What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” Shaxx asked softly. The warlock hummed, tilting his head back to rest against the larger mans chest. “M’ not pretty.” Fairlon said playfully, chuckling softly at the disapproving look he received from his lover. “Okay, okay… I just… It’s a lot, you know? This whole thing. Not our relationship, I should clarify. The whole thing about me somehow being a war criminal before this, before I was brought back, it hurts.” He paused and shook his head. “Why was I even brought back? It’s dangerous, the darkness, it can overtake me at any time and yet…” A deep breath. “Everyone’s still here. Everyone’s staying with me. I look awful, who I was… Was awful. I don’t understand, Shaxx.” Fairlon brought a hand to his face, shaking his head slowly. Shaxx was silent. “I don’t know what to do. I barely know what I am. I barely know what I can do. I just know that I could become an enemy in a second.” The warlock's voice wavered. “Most of the time I just wish I was dead. I’m a waste of a ghost. She deserves someone stronger.” He muttered, staring down at the mattress as he felt himself being squeezed. Tears welled in his eyes. “There’s no getting away from the darkness. I can’t get rid of it. It’s easier if I’m dead. I’m gonna become one of the taken some day or another.” Fairlon muttered. Shaxx shook his head slowly and turned the warlock around to look at him, a gentle hand on his cheek, brushing away the tears that had begun to fall. “Fairlon. My warlock. The strongest man I know… Other than myself.” Shaxx started, a subtle playfulness to his tone at the end of the sentence. It made the other man look away. Right. This was something he genuinely needed to be serious about. Fairlon opened his mouth again, shutting it with a shake of his head. “... I only know so much of what happened through my old journals. I was an awful person, Shaxx, I…” His voice grew quiet, his gaze entirely avoiding the titans. It hurt Shaxx, but he knew why he was so hesitant. 

“I want you to listen to me when I say this, Fairlon.” Shaxx started, catching the warlocks attention rather quickly. “What happened then doesn’t matter. That was hundreds of years ago. We know that. Now, though…” The titan placed a gentle kiss on the warlock's forehead. “You’re so much different. You’re one of the strongest people here. You saw hell, you lived it, you breathed it. But you came out of it alive, for the most part.” Fairlon shook his head, pulling away from the hand on his face, staring at nothing. He held his breath for a short moment. “I killed guardians, Shaxx. I killed them for fun.” The smaller muttered, feeling the sudden tenseness of Shaxx. The titan knew far too well that Fairlon blames himself instead of the darkness. He knew that Fairlon wouldn’t forgive himself and couldn’t see anything other than the makeshift version of himself in that position, see it as entirely as his fault.

“That wasn’t you. You know that.  _ We _ know that. It might’ve been your body, but were you in control of it?” The titan asked, his hold on the other man more secure. This was about the time the warlock would become skittish, but he wouldn’t let it happen this time. He needed to know exactly what Fairlon thought. He needed to know so that he could help. Plus, he needed Fairlon to say it himself. And he did.

“I wasn’t, but… That doesn’t excuse it, Shaxx.” He whispered, shifting ever so slightly. “I need to go do something-“ He tried to say, inhaling sharply when he heard the firm ‘no’ from his lover. Immediately, he tensed and looked up at the titan. “I need you to discuss this with me. Please. Just this once and never again.” Shaxx coaxed, a gentle hand moving to pet through the guardians hair and kissing his forehead. “Please.” He said again. Fairlon nodded slowly. “I… Nothing about me was in control. I couldn’t do anything. I fought against it for so long. I really did. At some point I let my guard down when I thought the worst was over and it just… It destroyed me. I was a passenger in my own body. Everything burned. I was stuck before you all came to get me. My ghost was nearly destroyed while I was there. I wish it would’ve been, Shaxx. I wish I was dead, I wish that I wouldn’t have been chosen, I wish I would’ve just fucking stayed dead-!” He cut himself off, breaking down into sobs and sagging in Shaxx’s arms with a shudder. “I should’ve died.” He muttered, voice wavering. Shaxx stayed quiet and let the warlock cry, gently pulling him closer. A calloused hand rubbed the mans back.

“I don’t even understand why you’re still here anymore.” Fairlon trailed off, voice soft as he sniffled. Shaxx shook his head slowly, kissing along Fairlons forehead. “My dearest,” He started, voice gentle. “I’m here because I know you’re different. I know you hate what happened but it’s not your fault. Everything about you now is lovely. Everything from your scars to your wonderful personality.” He reassured, moving his hand to lift the warlock's head and pull him into a sweet, loving kiss. Fairlon was quick to return it, though it was lazy. They stayed there for a moment before the smaller man pulled away. “You’re so much more than your past.” He continued. “You fight like a god and look amazing doing it.” The words were ever so slightly reassuring. “Never blame yourself from the past when you couldn’t physically stop yourself. Everyone knows that it wasn’t your fault.” Shaxx hummed, giving Fairlon a gentle squeeze. The warlock inhaled slowly and wiped his eyes with a slight shake of his head, moving to hide into the titans chest.

“Here in a bit I’ll take you to the gardens in the city. I’ll get you whatever you want, okay?” Shaxx offered, getting a nod in return. It wasn’t often that either of them went out. Only on special occasions. Fairlon supposed this must’ve been one of those occasions and nodded slowly, taking in a deep breath and wiping his eyes again. “... Can I just go back to sleep for now…? With you here?...” Fairlon asked quietly, his response being slowly ushered onto his side, huffing quietly but not entirely complaining. His crying quickly died down.

The warlock hummed softly and shut his eyes, cuddling into the titans chest and wrapping his arms around the mans torso lazily and loosely. Shaxx pulled the blanket over the both of them before pulling Fairlon as close as he could, threading a hand through his hair and rubbing his back. 

“I love you, my warlock.”

“I love you too.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hehehehe big beefy crucible bf
> 
> insta: vendilicious.arts
> 
> sometimes piers writes something that isn’t smut holy shit


End file.
